BLOODY WOLF = AWESOME

Bloody wolf is a game that came out for the short lived TurboGrafx 16 system. And it's quite possibly the best example of "Fucking awesome!" the world has to offer. So in celebration of this I decided to take record of my experience playing it.

11:00 pm - Start playing "Bloody Wolf". Now the name is, I feel, one of the best examples of late 80's/early 90's love of XTREME. So I decided to go look and see if I could find a "NO FEAR" shirt to wear while playing it. As it turns out not only do I not own a "NO FEAR" shirt, I also don't own a Charlotte Hornets jacket. Which makes me wonder if I in fact did not exist in that time period. As I believe they were standard issue.

11:02 - The game gives you the option of naming your character. I chose the fear inspiring name "TOMHANK". Truly my enemies will know fear.

11:03 - Am informed by General that "Your mission is to rescue the president, who has been kidnapped by the enemy. GO!" No locations are given/NEEDED. FUCK YEAH!

11:10 - Find the motorcycle in the game and realize you can jump over balconies while on said motorcycle. So this happened.....

.... unfortunately the picture doesnt show my tears of joy. And believe you me there were tears of joy.

11:32 - Rescue hostage and proceed to have incredibly important discussion with him...

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Hostage : Thank you for rescuing me!

TomHank: OK!

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12:23 - Get to insane General dude who has President hostage. Now the evil guy has a boomerang which, in the game, means that I cant use any weapons on him. Not quite sure how this works. Wait I can use I knife. Okay? So kids the lesson is if someone pulls a gun on you just bring out a boomerang and you'll be fine, but if that person has a knife.....you're fucked.

12:30 - Rescued the president and brought him to he helicopter meeting point. BUT WAIT theres only room for one more person on the copter! TomHank has to stay behind and is captured. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

12:31 - Am told to name another agent. Come up with incredibly mature name Agent "Farty". Soon realize I have the humour of a 12 year old.

12:32 - Farty is now sent to rescue TomHank. When he lands on the ground he says....

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Farty: I hope TomHank is okay!

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People, that made my year.

And thats where I stop writing. Why? Well for two reasons. One, thats as far as I've gotten in the game. And two, I have serious doubts I'll find anything greater than Farty's line. It just would be impossible. Can't top it.